The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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