I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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