Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
