Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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