we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
