I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Damn victory sex feels great
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
