Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
wow bdsm is so cute
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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