You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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