I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
