so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
