come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
So vagazzling was a success
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