I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize