Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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