When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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