she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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