im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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