in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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