I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize