i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
