I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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