I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
