i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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