It's like God shit irony all over that family
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
