I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
So squirting runs in the family.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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