i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
