a queef is a wish your heart makes.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
