do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
