When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
