Got a toothbrush?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
