we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
