i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize