There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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