The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
