HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
