There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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