This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
two words...techno handjob
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
