i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
