The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
