it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
