oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
