do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
