can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
