I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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