3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
