I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
