Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
