I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
