Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I need moral support for this bender
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
