Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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