So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
