Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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