And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
two words...techno handjob
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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