we're chasing vodka with high fives
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize