PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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