Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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