Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize