I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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