She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
