id be glad to
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
